How to Save My Marriage If My Relationship is Ready to BLOW UP?
3 THINGS You Need to Do Right Now to Stop the Affair, & Get Your Spouse Back
How to save my marriage!!! When there is infidelity in a marriage it is a true sign that something is wrong in the marriage. Of course the extramarital affair is not right, it should still be viewed as a sign that the marriage is in a dire need of repair. What should you do when you want to save my marriage today?
Naturally all couples hope that it never gets to this point where the infidelity has happened. The ideal would be to have the communication in the marriage open that this could be stopped or dealt with before it gets to this point. Once the infidelity has taken place there is no turning back and then couples need to look at restoration, if that’s possible.
Can Infidelity Ever Be Forgiven??
This is a very difficult question to answer. This will not be easy and will take a lot of work yet it can be overcome. The infidelity needs to be treated as a warning sign, as a message that repairs are needed in the marriage.
There are a few things that need to be done before one even tries to repair the marriage. The whole situation needs to start with honesty. The one having the affair needs to openly admit this to themselves as well as their spouse. The affair needs to be brought out into the open right away.
Both parties need to be able to take responsibility for what happened. Quite often there is the denial that happens afterwards and there can be no repairing something no one will admit happened.
Secondly both parties need to agree that they are wanting and willing to save their marriage now. For if both parties are not willing to commit themselves to this then it won’t be able to be repaired . Once you have both agreed and accepted your parts and then both agreed to want to repair then you can get started.
What You Need to Know About Surviving A Marital Affair and Saving a Marriage
One of the keys to getting through this is wanting to do it together and both agreeing to do it. Now the changes can be made. Starting by looking at the infidelity as a warning sign is a great place to start. Looking at it as a need to make some lifestyle changes in ones marriage so this doesn’t happen again.
Generally an affair doesn’t just happen, there are usually things underlying this action. So if the underlying, causing issues are dealt with then chances are great an affair will not take place.
How to Save My Marriage & Stop a Divorce?
A GREAT BOOK authored by Dr Lee H. Baucom is “Save the Marriage”. Dr Baucom feels all too often and way too easily people use divorce as a way of treating any problems in their marriage. He strongly feels that a divorce should be the last resort and that is only after everything else has been exhausted.
The sanctity of marriage is something that is not taken very seriously in many cases. More effort should be put into saving a marriage rather than just escaping it.
Marriage, a joyous union of two people in love should be attempted to be saved at all costs. Depending on the two people how they choose to do this will depend on them.
How to save my marriage? There are some that are able to do this on their own without any outside help at all. This is not common though as quite often it’s crucial to have that unbiased outsider opinion. Seeking the help of a marriage counselor, mediator or support group of some kind is generally the best step to take.
This puts someone else in the picture and someone who is not personally invested in the situation. This will quite often give them clearer picture of the situation as well.
There is a benefit of this as well to the couple seeking the support. They now have someone who is not prejudiced to the situation and will be able to listen to both sides fairly.
This gives the couple the freedom to express exactly what they are feeling. They generally will tend not to be so guarded in their communications. This is very important to the healing of the situation and it encourages and allows honesty.
Each of the parties can feel free to express their feelings openly and safely. It’s also encouraging to the parties involved to have that unbiased person that can provide feedback and encouragement.
It is comforting to know that if you and your spouse have gotten to this point then there is a consensus that the marriage wants to be saved. That much of the foundation that the marriage started on is still there.
As much as the two people need to look at them when wanting to repair this marriage they also need to look at everyone else affected. Sadly the people that are usually hurt the most by ones infidelity are the children of the marriage. It has been shown over and over that the children are the ones that suffer more before, during and after a divorce.
Too often a rocky marriage is seen as if a quick fix can’t repair it then move on. Let’s look at the message this is sending your children mostly. It shows them that it’s easy to bow out, not worth working on. It will kind of make them wonder about their whole upbringing and how a marriage can so easily end.
Never mind the example this will send to them in how to treat life’s issues. It’s showing them that walking away it better suited then actually working on something and fighting for something. This is not encouraging to think how they will treat life’s issues that they will no doubt have to deal with in their life’s ahead.
Learning from the Infidelity & Moving on..
When a couple is at the start of this journey this point seems unreachable. Yet for those that jointly participate in the healing have expressed many times that they have learned so much from the infidelity.
The main thing most have felt they have learned is that they now are open and aware to changes in their relationship. They have learned to be open and more communicative with their partner. They have found they are more aware of the signs, symptoms and triggers that can possibly happen. They also express more of an appreciation for their spouse and wanting to make things good.
In conversation with many of the couples it was found that the majority of ones that committed the infidelity did not do it for lack of love for their spouse, but for lack of something they felt missing in their marriage.
They also agreed if they were just able at that time to communicate openly to their spouse about what they were feeling the infidelity may never have happened. The majority also felt that if all was communicated and good in the marriage there is no need to go elsewhere.
Why go somewhere else when its right where you are. The encouraging thing is that the majority when asked actually said they gained from the experience. Not saying they are glad that it happened just saying they were able to take a bad incident and learn from it. In another positive note they were also able to take their experience and assist others.
Save The Marriage
In reviewing all this information it’s fair to say that Dr Baucom, author of Save The Marriage make a lot of valuable points. Helping to repair marriages and providing books as well as self help books to assist people in helping themselves. It’s encouraging to see someone that has taken their life experience and wants to use that to assist others.
It’s heartwarming today to see someone who feels so strongly in the sanctity of marriage and believes at almost all costs trying to save them. If infidelity or the threat of a divorce has entered your life you may want to do some reading.
Discover the principles for how to save a marriage & making it better than ever.
Start with this popular E-course designed as a step-by-step alternative when marriage counseling isn’t an option.
The main thing to keep in mind here is that it can be fixed, divorce is not inevitable and you can learn how to save my marriage today.