Your relationship is in trouble? Perhaps you have already split up, or you think your situation is hopeless? Beyond repair? Many folks think like that. It may seem to you that you are drowning in a sea of despair. You do not know what t do, except go down with the ship. Let your relationship go ahead and hit the rocks, I mean.
Well, I am here to tell you that, contrary to popular belief, it does not have to be this way.
Your relationship problems can be fixed. You can learn how to be romantic, even if it does not come naturally to you. Why not/ You learned lots of stuff in school, you learn on your job.
This is no different. You can save your relationship with a few tweaks and adjustments. Not everyone is an incurable romantic, so let’s see what we can do to get your relationship on the road to recovery. First of all, why is romance important? Why do I keep talking about it?
Because…when there is romance between a couple, it means they care about each other. The spark is still there, and the tenderness and love are alive and well. It is like a quick test of a relationship, to see if it still has a heartbeat. If it does, it can most probably be fixed, no matter how discourage you may feel right now. So we will get started with my advice for the common breakup blues.
Your well-meaning friends may try to cheer you up by saying things like, it is always darkest before the dawn. But to you, it seems awfully dark just now, before it gets even darker. You have to switch that outlook off. Try to maintain a positive, pleasant personality, even if it kills you! Gradually, slowly, you will feel better, wait and see.
Ok, your relationship was going great, until it wasn’t. Every couple hits a speed bump now and then. Some disagreements are of course, more serious than others. Even so, do not overreact. Talk, think and communicate. Is this issue really worth a major blowup? Or can we take it in stride? Probably the latter, if…
You Look After the Little Things
Love and romance are about being connected and close to your mate. How do you do that? By buying her flowers occasionally, for no reason. Leaving a little love not on his toolbox. Calling your spouse at work to say a quick “I love ya, see you tonight” Really listening to your partner when he/she talks. Saying Please and Thank you, even for
Something as small as washing out your coffee cup. This helps grease the wheels of your relationship.
You may soon find, strangely enough, that when you take care of these small things, the big things tend to take care of themselves. In other words, if you can build a loving, romantic relationship, you will be better able to handle those inevitable speed bumps, when they do pop up.
How are you doing? Learning how to be romantic? A little? Good. Do not stop now, keep it going!
Togetherness Counts…A Lot
Make the effort to do stuff together. Take a course, travel, sit on the sofa and read the newspaper or books, take walks along the lake or volunteer at your local community center. Doing things together builds teamwork and passion. It helps you learn about each other and grow and mature. Together…
Being Apart Also Counts…A Lot
In spite of #4 above, you need time to yourself, and so does your mate. It does not mean you love each other less. On the contrary. Being apart gives you a chance to think fondly of your partner, and to miss him or her. And to look forward to holding him in your arms again. Tight. And soon. It helps you realize that the spark is still there in your relationship..and not to take it , or your mate, for granted.
How to Be Romantic – Daily
Do not set up a schedule or plan too much, how and when to do these things we talked about above. Make an effort everyday, but be spontaneous and fun. Surprise your partner sometimes. Next time the two of you have an afternoon to yourselves, Ask him or her what they would like to do. Then do it!
Talk to your lover about anything and everything that concerns you, but be careful what you say. You want your partner to think of you as reliable and trustworthy. So, as Mary Poppins once said, do not make piecrust promises…easily made, easily broken. You cannot build a true relationship on quicksand.
Use these six steps today, to start patching up your relationship. Do not listen to negative, pessimistic friends. Why should you care if they say things are looking bad? You shouldn’t. So don’t. Instead, get started now, on repairing your relationship.
When a person seeks couples relationship advice it is because one or both of the people thinks the relationship is worth fight for. This is a good sign! Anyone who wants information about how to better their relationship is better than someone who wants information about the best divorce lawyer. Even if that person thinks there is no hoope, there must be some sort of hope left in his mind due to the route of help he is taking. A lot of people can offer advice, but it is only worth it if it comes from caring or educated hearts. Sometimes magazines articles from complete strangers may be more helpful depending on the circumstance.
Gathering as much information as possible will best prepare a couple for mending and current future obstacles.
Friends and family offer some of the best help due to the prior knowledge they have about the relationship. This is helpful only if the people giving the advice have decent relationship to draw experience from. Some families are full of divorce or unwed relationships. These would not be the best people to get advice from despite the fact that they are family. Friends may offer a more diverse array of advice, but the same concern is valid. Be conscience of who the advice is coming from. Things to consider when accepting help from friends and family are: where they stand religiously, what their past relationship experience is, and what personal baggage they may be subconsciously transmitting. Being able to subjectively take information and sort it out takes time and may not be worth the time. But all information is worth gathering even if it seems irrelevant at the time.
Many professionals offer services, books, workbooks, and seminars about how to save a marriage by offering couples relationship advice. Although this may be an impersonal way to submit information, it is sometimes most effective. The experience of professionals offer experienced information about the psychology of marriage which exists in any relationship no matter what the life circumstances they are in.
The separation of situation and relationship needs to be clearly defined in order to have success in the future of the marriage. Professionals in marriage and other subjects can help differentiate this. Understanding the core problems through gathering information better prepares any couple for a successful future with a marriage. After the information is gather, the process of sorting out what is god and what is bad has begun.